A Close Shave!

And no I’m not talking about a stripper’s bikini line. (ha ha)

Last night when I was walking to work (with hair and 90% of my make-up done) I was just half a street away and could even see the club entrance when none other than my university tutor walked out across the pavement about 5 metres in front of me.

Shit! It’s ok, I thought.  She doesn’t know I’m heading for the club.  I can tell her I’m on my way to meet a friend.

We crossed paths but to my absolute great relief she didn’t recognise me (she hasn’t seen my new haircut before and I don’t normally wear much makeup).  She made a b-line to unlock her bike from the railing opposite and I passed her with just inches to spare.  Thank God!

Still, I couldn’t go straight to the club door as she might turn and see me.  Instead I took a detour down the street to the left then walked all the way around the block to approach the club from the other end of the road.  As I walked up the street I looked as far ahead as I could praying that she’d gone.  She had. And I made it in unseen.  Phew!

(You have to laugh really)


Lessons from Night No. 2

Last night I earned £27 from three 6 minute dances plus £5 in tips.  I only got the tips because I asked for them (sweetly and politely) but it was definitely a good idea.

The annoying thing is that if I’d only done two 6 minute dances I would have earned £1 more because the club only takes the £15 floor fee after five 3 minute dances.  In fact I realise the club made more money from my dances than I did last night.

For me

6 three minute dances x £7 = £42

£42 – £15 floor fee = £27


For the club

6 three minute dances x £3 = £18

£18 + £15 floor fee = £33


Lessons from last night:

  • Don’t ask for a dance too early in your conversation with the customer.  They need time to suss you out and decide whether they like you or not.  It also makes it seem that all you are interested in is their money.  What you want to make them think is that you are more interested in THEM as a person.  Give about 10 minutes of conversation first.
  • Get in there first.  There were a few instances last night where the men I spoke to said they’d have genuinely much preferred a dance from me but they had already been bullied into it by another girl first.
  • There’s not much point sticking around on the club floor after dance time finishes at about 3.30am (unless you can maybe get a tip off someone)
  • Definitely ask for tips.  After the dance ask if they’d like to continue for another.  Last night all my customers did but they couldn’t afford it so I instead asked if they thought I deserved a tip.  I also didn’t take less than pound coins because I’m worth more than that.  I think taking small change is cheap and desperate.
  • Know how you want to be treated and stick to it.  Last night one guy I was talking to decided he’s squeeze my arse.  I told him quite plainly that that was not ok to do and do you know what? It felt great.  I’m so glad I took the time to work out what was ok for me and what wasn’t and what I’d do/say if someone broke the rule.  And I’m immensely proud of myself for sticking to it.  I am not a play thing.  A lot of the other girls would probably have allowed that behaviour but it doesn’t matter what the other girls allow; it matters what’s ok for ME.
  • Once a customer has agreed to a dance give him your absolute full attention until you are finished together.  You want him to think you are madly into him and don’t want to give him even a second’s opportunity to change his mind (like I did, chatting to the bar man during the transaction and so losing my customer).
  • Customers seem to click with you much better when you come across as genuine and honest.  This is because they feel they can trust you and you seem like a real person who is interested in them as a person rather than just some tacky bitch who wants their money.  Example:

My second dance of the night was a bit of a surprise to me because I wasn’t even trying to sell it.  I was sitting at the side when I saw a young man being pointed in by a member of staff.  He was alone.  After he went to the bar and got a drink I approached him.  I thought as things were slow I could pass some time by chatting to him.  I thought it unlikely he’d buy a dance because of his age (and so did the other girls as they ignored him).  I went over and said hi and we chatted for about ten minutes or so.  I asked him about his work and things and then he was asking me about mine.  How long had I worked here? How was I finding it? How did I get paid? How much was a dance? (good sign). I spoke openly and honestly and before I knew it he said he’d like a dance from me. Brilliant! And I got £3 tip 🙂

Despite my less than fantastic earnings I am not disheartened at all.  It was only my second night and I am learning a lot.  Next night: Thursday.

P.S. I also need to get a black out curtain for my room.  I can’t sleep properly in daylight and sleep is vital to being on top form at work.


Absolutely Vital Rules for Beginners

There is you and then there is your stripping persona.  Your stripping persona doesn’t exist outside the walls of the club.  She lives in the club only.  And equally, you, the real you, does not exist within the walls of the club.  When you enter, you become the stripper, and leave you behind.  This is so so so important.

Make sure your stripping persona is fully formed and water tight before you start.  Know what you do, where you live, where you’re from, what your parents do, what attracts you, everything.  The last thing you want is to be making up fake info on the spot, or worse, reveal your real details.

Do not let customers get you drunk.  Say you are driving home.  A customer could be trying to get you drunk to take advantage of you.

Keep all your possessions close to you AT ALL TIMES.

Keep an eye on your drink AT ALL TIMES.  Don’t leave it even for a second! If unsure, throw it away and get another.

Tell someone when you’re at work and when you’re coming home.  This person must know what you’re doing.

Suspect anything and everything.

Expect the unexpected.



I went shopping today, or investing as I will call it.  It’s an investment in my enterprise.  I’m trying to get over the fact that in order to invest in my enterprise I must spend money on myself.  This is something I’m not in the habit of doing.  I never get my nails done or wear expensive make up and clothes normally.  But now I must remember that I’m not spending money on spoiling myself or being vain, I am investing money in my appearance because I am the product (or rather my time is).  So I mustn’t feel guilty about it (as I normally would. I get that from my mum).  I must feel positive and empowered and excited.  That’s why people go shopping isn’t it? The excitement of something new.

So here’s what I bought today:

A ceramic barrel hairbrush

Elnett hairspray

Silver shampoo

Deep red lipstick


A really good set of make- up brushes

Bra and thong

Black underwear x3

Fake diamond stud earring

Little silver necklace

I wandered in to Debenhams for a look at their lingerie and I was very pleasantly surprised.  They had a lot of nice stuff with interesting different designs that were not tacky (unlike Anne Summers and La Senza).  I got a silk bra and thong which I’ve only just read on the label is designed by Dita Von Teese.  They was 20% off too and a total of £36.80 for the set (would have been £46).  I’m tempted to go back and get the suspender belt too.  Would probably be a good idea because then it would make it more of a costume for me and so would better help me get into character.

The little silver necklace is really nice.  It’s simple but classy looking.  It’s also good in the respect that it won’t get in the way when I’m dancing.

My audition is tomorrow.  I’m not gonna lie:  I’m terrified (but excited).


Dress Rehearsal

I gave my partner a lap dance last night. My first ever lap dance. I took inspiration from the moves I’d experienced in the clubs from the girls I met. He made a good point that, although he very much enjoyed it (he found it hard to speak afterwards!), he didn’t have much to compare it to because he’s never had a full nude lap dance. I had never though before of why he’d needed one also but I know now. So…

When doing your field research make sure you bring a person with you who you can later practice your own moves on, and make sure they get at least one full real lap dance first. This will make their feedback to you more informed and therefore more helpful.

It’s weird to think now that it’s highly likely that my next lap dance will be for a total stranger. Weird but exciting. It went well generally but I think I will be watching many more youtube videos on lap dancing, and I shall post the best ones here.